Hmmm …. When wearing a 2 piece outfit; a top which is almost cropped, what does it call for? A flat tummy? A six pack abdomen? A fat confidence attitude? Shame? Pride? What?
I’m sure after seeing me in this 2 piece mesh outfit, the answer will be evident to many. But to me…. I went back to the day when wearing my crop top suit/outfit begged the question “To Lipo or not to suction?”
After having 2 kids; a soon to be 7 yr old and a now 14 month old, I have certainly earned my stripes. My body is no longer what it used to be. I have a few what I call aged “tabby stripes” as in tabby cat stripes. I have earned my dues. Sometimes I joke around and say if I had known….
But what would I really have done differently – NOTHING!!!! I love my kids to death. But, perhaps, I’d have enjoyed my so called skinny ass “OLIVE OYL” days. Yes, folks, I used to be called Olive Oyl, Flintstone wife, Wilma and Zoclicks. All these were in reference to my size, my extreme case of skinniness. I used to be a super skinny kid all my life. I was very active – I was a track star. Today, my idea of being active involves chasing my kids around the house.
Right now, I wish that any of these names would stick. Do you remember when your only worry was whether you looked too skinny in an outfit? Now, for me, it’s the total opposite. I worry constantly whether I look too plump, too fat, too out of shape, too misshapen, too imperfect.
And guess where these questions took me?
To my Cosmetic Surgeon’s Office!!!! And boy, did that young handsome Dr Q (sounds like a James Bond character) make me feel good. I would have thought that I would have been scared, anxious, and nervous. Surprisingly, I was none of these things. I felt free, empowered and powerful. I was on a mission to claim my body back. To acknowledge my stripes, but to have them where I wanted them – Hidden. I had absolutely no sense of self preservation. I went in there, had a discussion with him, then with absolutely no shame, showed him my post baby fat, my tabby stripes and I said “I need liposuction.”
Well, I was really shocked when Dr Q told me that “you definitely DO NOT need liposuction!” That made my day – gave me exactly what I needed; a dose of body confidence and my shame my fat attitude was back in full force!!
Yes, my cosmetic surgeon said that to me. It made me feel emancipated, free, powerful, feminine. I got my womanly confidence right back to where I needed it to be.
And please – do not think that I needed some form of reaffirmation from him. Nope, this is not what this was about. It was about me feeling empowered; me, feeling in charge; me, making the decision to be informed about my body; me, being in a position to do something about what I disliked; me, taking hold of my body and doing what I wanted regardless of what anyone thinks. Me – having confidence to take that step without looking or feeling like a fool.
Right then, right there, I made a decision – to lipo or not to suction wasn’t even an option. No way, no how – NO LIPOSUCTION for me.
So, today I decided to bring out my mesh 2 piece, almost cropped top outfit. And I have to say, even though I may not be a teenager anymore; even though I may not be childless anymore; even though I may not have the perfect tabby stripe free body anymore; even though I am no longer called Olive Oyl, Flintstone’s Wife, Wilma or even Zoclicks anymore – I am happier now than ever before.
I have my KIDS, I have my CAREER, I have my PASSION; I have good HEALTH, I have Happiness and I have LOVE!!! These are the things that matter. The true essence of life is not, cannot and should not be measured by whether I have the perfect body, the ideal body, the socially accepted body.
And so, as I continue my journey of self-discovery I will continue to share with you and enlighten you on everything…..my ups and my downs.
And today; it’s my ups….
Lesson 2: Do not live life to end up on your deathbed thinking or saying “I wish I would have had more confidence and tried more things, instead of being afraid of looking like a fool.”
What does this 2 piece mesh outfit call for?