Frankly, my philosophy has always been doing what my heart tells me is right. I’m a firm believer of taking risks and taking chances. I believe in that old adage “nothing ventured, nothing gained.” And so, as I continue my quest for personal fulfillment I did what many would be ashamed to do; what many would fail to do – I QUIT.
Not my job…not life… just the usual nonsense that comes with having too much coming at me all at once. As I continue on my journey, I’ve accepted that certain people will journey alongside me, certain people will drop off along the way and certain people, I will leave behind. I’ll make decisions with lots of trepidation, but I’ll make those tough decisions.
What I’ve decided to address today is my constant need and drive to maintain my independence, my sense of self. One of the most important lessons that I’ve learnt while being a woman is that I MUST NEVER be defined by anyone.
It may go back to my upbringing – black kid from a single parent family and raised by the grandparents. I’ve learnt that as a woman, a black woman, a Caribbean woman; a woman from a single parent family, a woman raised by her grandparents; it is important that I “create myself!”
Coming from the Caribbean I’ve seen many women who have lived their entire lives being dependent on men. Women, who through circumstances became defined by the situations beyond their control. Women who have lived all their lives standing behind a man. Women, who were afraid to stand tall with feet planted and declare – I am woman!!! I am me!!
It’s sad, for that lifestyle had not gotten them anywhere. Most often, the only recognition or “accomplishment” that they had, and I use the term loosely, were the kids. That doesn’t meant that all Caribbean women shared that, it just means that from my experience, this is what I’ve come to realise. As such, I’ve always had this insatiable appetite to create myself, to stand alone, to beat the odds, to define my future.
Self-improvement is a constant process which I have to work at. It doesn’t come easy. There are days when I feel like just letting it all out. I may need to vent, I may need to retaliate, I may need to attack; but recently, those days are few and far between. I have learnt to let things go, to move on, to cut people off. Sometimes, it’s not worth it to go against the masses. Sometimes it’s ok to walk away, start over and continue on my journey.
I’ve seen enough, have had enough interactions, and have experienced enough to know that I will always keep pushing myself. My attitude in life is that I won’t fail because I’ve tried. To not have tried is the only failure I can define. However, I am constantly trying, therefore, I have not failed.
Failure is never an option to me as long as I have choices. I believe that if I fail to act and I accept what I do not hold as true, then I will have become a failure.
I want it ALL. I want to be what I’ve always dreamt of being – successful, independent, free and happy. And, I’ll keep doing whatever it takes to get where I want to get.
I’ve never been one to shy away from making tough choices. I may not make them as quickly as I’d like, but I’d make them. Today, I learnt something while on a farewell lunch date to my colleague. The world will move on whether I like it or not.
The key to surviving is doing what feels right to me and making decisions that will ultimately be right. That’s not saying that I won’t fail, but chances are, with my convictions, I’ll definitely be more right that wrong.
But today, part of defining that future, of breaking the pattern, of redefining the norm is to do what I did. And so in the spirit of moving on….Of celebrating new opportunities, of taking on life; I’ve QUIT….
And NO, i’m not a failure…… I had to quit to get where I am meant to go. And so, my journey continues
Lesson 4: It’s OK to quit; as long as in quitting, you are winning.
Here’s today’s outfit – Farewell Lunch for my colleague who quit to bigger and better things
Mustard tshirt – Forever 21
Hunter Green Pencil skirt (which I wore high-waisted) – Forever 21
Bordeaux/ Burgundy Heeled Sandals – ALDO