Here’s a letter I would have written had I known how truly unpredictable things would become…and how strong you will have to be.
If there’s one thing I’d like you to know about your future self, is that you’re one tough cookie. I sincerely hope that you will always be like that. While you are at it…always maintain your dignity and self respect.
So…take note now so that in the more distant future you’ll be stronger…you have to; life is unpredictable and change is inevitable.
You’ll have two amazing kids. And I know that they are amazing because they are being tested even as I write this. The life you envisioned for them, will never happen. In fact, you will create another life…all on your own. It will be difficult, but difficulty has never stopped you before. Just remember all the obstacles you have faced to get where you are.
Don’t think that a single life is the end. In fact. ..it will be your beginning. You’re not expected to be perfect. ..but you can be happy. You’ve always maintained and been the voice of being unique and yourself. Do not stifle that uniqueness. Do not let yourself be shadowed by the insecurities of someone who is not willing, nor able to strengthen that strength which you have.
Vanessa, be you; daring, bold, vivacious, smart, caring, funny…you know, all the things that make you, you.
You’ll have moments. You’ll not only doubt yourself, but your existence, your purpose, your being. It’s ok…I’ll let you know now that you will survive. You’ll be happy! You’ll be alive! You’ll be successful! You will be free! You will be you and that will be your greatest freedom.
There will come a day when you’ll find yourself and when you do, you will be made to suffer for it. But it’s ok…you will be fine. Perhaps the life you wanted will never be yours, but the life you need can be yours.
Have faith. Have strength. Have trust. But most of all have Happiness and love.
The freedom which you’ll find is the happiness which you need.
Many fail to realise that life is about living, following your dreams, takings risks and chances. Life is about finding yourself and your happiness and until you learn that…you’ll never truly live…you’ll just exist.
And so Vanessa…never be scared to take life head on. If you fail to…you’ll end up right where you thought you wanted to be; living a farce which is not your life.
So as I end…I’ll tell you to keep doing what you are doing. You have 2 kids who depend on you. It’s your duty to ensure that they are loved and happy and happiness is not how many toys they have…but the love and experiences of love which you can provide.
Frankly, I’m proud of you and you should be too. You’ve done good. Ignore the hatred…the negativity…keep your head up and your shoulders straight. You have way more future letters to receive.
All the best my future self
Do what you always do…embrace that big forehead and those chubby cheeks and Smile, Smile, Smile