My love hate affair with social media…

And yes there is one. I’ve said countless times that I’m going to quit social media, ideally Facebook and most importantly Instagram. Then I say to myself, why should I? Why should I have to do that because of some insecure women who feel like they have nothing better to do than attack me and spread what they think they know about me.

You see me – an image, a reality which I project on you. It’s calculated, it’s on purpose, it serves a purpose. I market myself and share what I want, when I want. Its calculated. People say I’m not private, I post too much. Perhaps I do, but how many people can say that they know SLUR? I mean, know SLUR, the real me. The true me.

Sure, you may have seen me on Instagram, on Facebook, in passing. But do you know me? Do you know my fears or my passions? Do you know the old me or the new? Ask yourself, what do you know about me, other than what I calculatingly post?

That is the reality. I let you see only what I want and need you to. It serves a purpose, not to the few who don’t understand but rather to the many who may recognise my drive to succeed, my fear of failure, the lure of financial independence. I do not dance to any beat but my own which I’ve created for social media.

Social Media has allowed me to realize my passions and have provided me with that platform to showcase it.  And – it works. I’m networking and getting what I have to do done. This is 2017 – popularity is not my game; success is.

Do you care? Hell yeah; some more so than others. Enough so that a few of you feel the need to have opinions about my life; that which you do not know about. It is ok. What is not ok is that a few are so caught up in trying to define my life, that they forget to check themselves. I’m doing it, and grinding, I’m slur-ring. I am looking like what I want to represent. I am doing what I know how to; showcasing my talents to get me recognized. Not by you who can have no positive effect on my life.

Nope, I do social media to do what I have been – becoming an affiliate, getting products to review, being asked to provide stylist services, being asked to review written work. This is what it’s about. It’s not about the “haters”, those trying to “take me down” because as we say in Dominica, they can’t “stand me.”

And while I am having my love hate relationship with social media, I have been forced to   constantly be my biggest supporter, to constantly rethink, reevaluate and to constantly remember my purpose.

My purpose is not to please everyone, my purpose is to find my niche, find people who are like me. I have to know my prospective employers, those who will see me and see beyond the social media reality which I have created.

And in the meantime I say:

I have a life, a career, a function.

I have supportive true friends, mentors.

I have a partner who has never left my side, never failed to constantly believe in me.

I have angels looking down on me.

But most of all, I have the ability to effect the change which I’m seeking in my life. Social media allows me to showcase my talent – to take those steps necessary to have that platform which is current and mobile.

So, in my moments of weakness, and yes, I do have those, I ask myself:

Who was there when I had my moments? When I felt less than I should? When I had self doubts? When I was finding myself? Who cared? Who had an opinion then? No one. No one.

No one pushed me or encouraged me to find myself. No one was there when I struggled with the many insecurities which drowned me. And then, I found myself. I discovered self love and acceptance. And guess what, there are women who hate me for it. Some of them will be reading this post; it’s inevitable. The need to know drives them.

There is this constant attack on my person; never to my face, but as an aside. Perhaps it’s to someone I’m trying to get to know. They’ll ask, why her? What do you see in her, what does she have?

And I’ll tell you now – I have that IT factor – the thing that makes ME, ME. No-one can take that away from me, no-one!!!!

I have the ability to genuinely live and not be so caught up in everyone else’s life. I am a positive thinker. I specialize in speaking positivity into my being. I constantly rejuvenate myself with positivity. And that positivity is what constantly reminds me that my love hate affair with social media will continue to serve its purpose, to drive me, to push me to succeed, to inspire perhaps that one person who wishes she was as outspoken, as independent, as brave, perhaps even a risk taker as I am.

It took a while to get there; but I am here. I have gotten to that point where I am good with myself, with my character with my person. Ask yourself, am I?

Everyone has an opinion, everyone. But the reality is, that opinion will only be relevant to a weaker person who can’t be self learned. So, because of that, I keep to myself more. I do not trust the friend who in an attempt to justify herself, will try to justify my actions in light of her beliefs. And so, I won’t stop. I’ll keep pushing but I will be aware of that friend.

I won’t even stop that ex who wants to keep my person sheltered and repressed. I’ve learnt from it.

I won’t be put in that box which many fall victim to. I am not interested in trying to bring another woman down. I’m not interested in knowing who’s husband is living a separate life. I’m not even interested in knowing who wears clothes with the tags still attached in an attempt to return them, truly, I’m not.

I’m only interested in how I can continue to brand myself. To work with and surround myself with positive influencers; those who can help me get to that place where I will continually define my success.

So, here I am biting. I’m having that love hate affair with social media. But you know what, I have a love hate affair with many things but I don’t let them define me….

In the end, we only regret the chances, we didn’t take”


SLUR is my brand.

SLUR is a lifestyle.

So here’s to me SLUR, doing my thing. Projecting my reality on you, yet you fail to note the disclaimer “remember, not everything you see is the truth. Some reality lives outside the image.”

And while you’re here reading this, perhaps, if you’re married you can ask yourself; where is my husband? Who knows, he may be living a double life that you accept. Or maybe you can say, I’ve accomplished this for myself, I have a career and my partner has one too.

Until then, if you cannot define yourself nor can society look at you as a sign of success, please take a page from my book of advice. Ask yourself, am I someone that I am proud of?

Do you know your niche? I have found mine; I am branding myself…


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