I’m a F*ucking Ray of Sunshine…

So says my shirt and I have to agree. After all, I seem to be the Queen of resurrections. I’m tired of asking why me, not to GOD, because I do not question his doings, but to my universe.

It’s so freaking confusing how we are programmed. On one had, there’s the religious pundits who believe everything and question nothing. On another hand, you have a mixture of people like me, who believe, who question, who are scared to question, who say they believe but don’t want to test fate…. there’s way too little fingers to categorize the many different versions of confusion in regards to religious beliefs.

So I often steer away… and in an attempt to not jinx myself, I do not question the workings of my GOD… just my sanity, most times. After all, you’d think that a woman who has gone through as many emotional turmoils as I have would be scared and less inclined to take risks. But oh no! I am the Queen of pushing through, of tomorrow is another day, of positivity amongst gloomy days…etc etc.

I crave the adventure of life. When i’m gone, I want it to be known that I tried my hardest to live a life on my terms… and in so much as I couldn’t control fate… I controlled what I could.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my moments where I’ve crashed and burned. But I’ve had way more moments of rising like the Phoenix from the ashes of betrayal, broken trust, theft, broken family, broken relationships – death, birth… If you can name it, I’ve some how lived the exact movie version.

But as always, I refused to cower. I wasn’t born to just exist. I was born to live. So I take every grain of salt and toss it in the ocean…. and guess what happens?

Oh yeah…. it will always rain..and once it is over, my rays of sunshine come through. I believe that as this cycle continues…. at the end of each rain storm… I’ll be showered with rays of sunshine….

so yeah, I’m a f*cking ray of sunshine so take that world. There will always be rays of sunshine with SLUR written all over them.

So, perhaps the next time you feel the warmth on your skin you remember me and be grateful that your rainy days are for this day, behind you.

And go ahead, enjoy those “F*UCKING RAYS OF SUNSHINE”

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