Love is disappointing …

Is it a truth universally known that women do not value nor appreciate good men? And if this is a truth, what pray tell could be the reason behind that truth? Do good men really exists? I mean, I’m sure they do….but do they exist so abundantly that men are justified in saying that women do not appreciate good men?

Ladies, do a survey of 10 of your friends and see how many know good men, and if they do, at least 3 good men. Let’s see if good men exists. But before we do, what does society define as a good man. Or better yet, ask yourself, what is your idea of a good man?

I’ve heard the stories, I’ve seen the signs, I’ve been victim to the so called not good men. But where are the good men? I’ve seen women settle, marry men who have used and abused them…physically, verbally, emotionally and mentally. I’ve heard of some details coming from educated women, women who would know better, who could do better, but yet, like me, who’ve settled on a man deemed not a good man by society.

I’ve been in love and been disappointed. I like many other women have fallen victim to the no good man, the wastrel man, the good for nothing man. I’ve fallen victim to my need for being in love, for giving love for believing in love. I’ve been betrayed. I’ve been a victim of a disappointing love. But who do I blame; myself, society, the man? 

Society has already established that the norm is falling in love, settling down and having something meaningful. Society has become so brutal the it has shamed us women into not speaking up about our betrayal, ruination and abuse from the men whom we’ve chosen to love. I don’t blame society for my weakness. After all, me being so in love and enjoying great sex… I could have cared less for the little tell tale signs – the withdrawals from my account, the big purchases, the restaurant meals with friends, the big creditcard bills, the demands for money… I can’t blame society for that. I chose to remain… to allow it.. to just gloss it over..but in the end, what did that get me? 

A shell of a man who can’t be man enough to take care of his responsibilities. To do what is right and fix the wrongs. To pay the damage and take accountability for his actions. What did it leave me? A man who claims to be a good man? What is a good man? A man who gives great dick? Is good looking? Over confident?

At my age, these things did not matter! What mattered to me was my family, building a life…creating generational wealth, instilling in the kids the idea of family, strength and unity; that is what I wanted. A good family man; a man who put his wife and kids first, not the job. A man who’d be home…having family time, dinners, conversations, playing with the kids. I wanted the white picket fence and all the trimmings. But instead, I got a shell. Not even a boy… a shallow empty vessel with nothing to offer, who stole from me and left a trail of disaster which I am still left to clean up.

But hey, that’s ok! Society will listen to that shell brag about how good a man he is, will look at the good looks and smile and blush. Society will not see the evil behind the actions until it hits home…or perhaps until the consequences of the actions show up.

Love fails us so many times. Or is it us who fail ourselves?

In the end, is it truly better to have loved and lost than to have not loved all?

No Matter what your opinion is, I still say: NEVER BOW YOUR HEAD IN SHAME.

Learn from your mistakes, survive through the experiences and keep on keeping on.

A narcissist once told me “Life will go on!” And, yes, it sure does. So never lose sleep over what could have been. Dream of what will be and is to com.


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